Yeah the party was a success she has had a fab time & gotten some fantastic gifts, she was so happy to have her friends around her, her & Ruby stuck together like glue which is cool as Ruby is 'big six' so can look out for Keeley. Murphy had fun too. I feel really happy tonight knowing my little girl enjoyed her birthday party. Last year was a disaster, I had organised a big do with a bouncy castle in a village hall where we help run the toddler group I go to, with around 30 children, but as soon as we got there she just closed in on herself & spent the entire party sitting on Daddys knee sucking her thumb, I felt bad for her, her friends, my friends, me, but a year on she is a different child.

Today has been better no sad thoughts, maybe because I have no memories of what happened four years ago today, at least three days are pretty much gone, I can remember the odd thing but not much. Tomorrow is big party day, so excited ....

Birthday day

Keeley is four today, big four, well little four as she is only the size of a two year old but still, she has had a fab day so far, we still have lots of people coming with presents later & then her party to look forward to on Sunday with 19 small people coming along.

I had a little cry this morning, the birth of your first child should, by all rights be the happiest day of your life, it wasn't mine, it was one of the worst, Keeley was a very much wanted & planned baby, we decided to go for a spring baby with thoughts of birthday parties in the garden, sadly on the 26th Feb 2006 I went into labour, it wasnt a great day timing wise either, Gavin & I were due to be God parents to my Niece, we never made it. The day before I was admitted to hospital with a bleed & at 9.45am on the 26th I was told I needed a c-section else this baby would die, she was born at 10.07am weighing 1lb 14oz, I dont remember much of the next few days, only that she got really sick, having her Baptised in the middle of the night & being told she may not make it. Anyway three months later we brought home the smallest baby most people had ever seen 3lb 15oz. I still sadened by her first few months of life, I feel we were robbed of one of the most important days of our lifes. It was no ones fault, just one of those things. To us May 22nd is a special day as thats when she came home.

Hopefully next year I wont cry a it does get easier everyear, I save my tears for when Im on my own I dont want to share them I think people would think Im silly four years later.

She is our brave little fighter & I love her so much x x

Snow days

We woke up this morning & it was white over 2-3inches overnight it was fab, we got togged up & went for a walk, Murphy loved it, but Keeley got cold, that girl really does need some neat on her bones (so to speak)Its nearly her 4th birthday (next Friday) we have organised a party at a local play centre with twenty of her friends, I hope she enjoys it x

I made my tea - oh happy days :)

I want a cup of time but I really cant be arsed to get of my backside & make it, Gavin is still at work & then he has a two hour drive to get home so Im guessing he wont want to make me one & its too long to wait.... oh I need a maid or a nanny or just someone to do my ironing, I've had two ironing ladies but they keep getting pregnant & leaving, so if you want to get pregnant....

I also dont feel well, I feel like the squidlets have been sick since christmas with one thing or another & now I have it which is crap because I dont have anyone to look after me & I still have to look after two poorly little sick babies, they have conjuntivities (sp)? so I have the great pleasure of getting their eye drops in, two drops in each eye four (yes four) times a day, this is not an easy task, I have to sit on them (not my full weight cause that would just be stupid) pin their arms to their sides take aim & hope for the best, they of course freak out at this but it has to be done & there is no reasoning with them, I do feel bad about it.